I Can See You Are Listening, But are You Really Hearing What I’m Saying?

Listening is one of the most basic skills of any human being and the critical lynchpin of building successful relationships. When we listen with care, people like us more and will co-operate with us more readily.

Executive Assistants spend at least half of their day listening to their manager and or other staff. It is very important for any person in this role to listen carefully and avoid any misunderstandings. Listening can be hard work and it is so easy to switch off or become distracted or caught up in our own thoughts. If you are an executive assistant or team leader you should make listening one of your better skills.

It is important to listen fully when listening. This may sound comical; however, you must concentrate on what is being said. Be aware that we apply filters as we listen to people. Some people we have judged as time wasters so we don’t listen to them as carefully as we should. Others we have decided are valued colleagues, so we listen to them very carefully digesting every word they utter. By applying filters, we can hinder the communication process, missing important cues or information from the other person.

When you are listening, show the speaker that you are interested. This can be shown non-verbally by nodding your head in agreement, facing the speaker, leaning forward slightly and by repeating key words or phrases or even paraphrasing the conversation. Make sure you look at the speaker, rather than letting your eyes wander to the background view, focus on the speaker’s eyes and make sure you keep your eyes open.

Think about the number of times you have been in conversation with someone and their eyes are wandering the room, looking at everyone or anything other than you. What’s the message they are giving you? Are they really interested in what you are saying or are they looking for someone more interesting to talk to? Make sure you aren’t this person, focus on the other person 100%.

Often when we listen to others we experience feelings associated with the topic. Avoid letting your feelings or emotions cloud your ability to listen. Keep an open mind.

Make sure as you progress that you understand exactly what has been said. Test your understanding by paraphrasing occasionally. This signals to the other person that you are listening and are keen to understand their topic, plus it clarifies any misunderstandings that may occur.

Because we think faster than people speak, we often evaluate conversations as they progress. Take some time to notice their body language, posture and skin colour. This information will allow you to judge their sincerity or commitment to the topic.

Listening is a sophisticated skill and requires self-discipline. Work hard at it and reap the relationship rewards.

© Lindsay Adams 2017. All rights reserved.

About Lindsay Adams

Lindsay Adams, aka, the Relationships Guy, is a business relationships specialist. Relationships underpin everything in business and Lindsay works with leaders, teams and sales people teaching them how to enhance their relationship skills to be better leaders, work better together in teams, network effectively and even make more sales.

He is a practiced speaking professional, workshop facilitator and business coach.

Lindsay can be contacted at:

PO Box 2409
Brookside Centre
QLD 4053
Mob: 0438 180 358
Email: lindsay@lindsayadams.com
Web: www.lindsayadams.com