When working with clients on communication and influence I often get asked for strategies on maintaining composure when working with intimidating individuals, and as an Executive Assistant I’m certain you’ve all come across your fair share of demanding divas and difficult dictators. Sometimes you’re put on the spot without warning, other times you need to give bad news and know it won’t go down well. Regardless of how you may come to feel intimidated the result is the same – mental shutdown, performance at stake!

Our physiology becomes our biggest enemy as our brains shut down and our bodies retreat into survival mode. There’s nothing like that tightening of the chest, the constriction of the throat, and the seemingly total inability to find your brilliance in that moment… even when you know it’s in there somewhere! Without our ability to stay calm, keep our composure and find that all-important link between what we know and our ability to communicate it effectively, we begin to falter. It becomes easy to feel intimidated, lose our composure, and fall apart inside.

Simple tricks for staying calm under pressure

Whilst we can’t always prevent someone from being intimidating, we can employ some strategies for reducing the effect we let them have on us.

1. Slow down – As our heart rates quicken so too can our speech, and often with disastrous results.

2. Breathe – Seems trite to say, ‘just breathe’ but seriously, just breathe. There is so much science behind why regulating your breathing is vital for composure. Breathe evenly and breathe deeply. You may not have the luxury of walking away and taking 6 deep breaths before re-engaging, but at least you can start to slow the heart rate down which gives your brain the best chance of reconnecting to your ‘thinking’ functions.

3. Keep it simple – shorten your sentences, stick with simple messages, get clear on your main point and stick to it.

4. Retreat early – If all that fails and you feel like you’re in conversational quick sand and sinking fast, then, temporarily retreat as soon as you can. Regain your composure, clarify your stance, do that deep breathing, then go back and try again.

Remember, no one can make you feel anything without your permission. Feeling intimidated then, is a matter of choice. Don’t fall into the trap of letting other people choose for you.

Anneli Blundell is an author, speaker and communication expert (a.k.a professional People Whisperer), who helps her clients improve their communication, influence and engagement. She’s obsessed with decoding people dynamics for improved performance and specialises in interpersonal intelligence - the ability to understand and navigate the people dynamics in a given situation.

Her latest book, Developing Direct Reports: Taking the guesswork out of leading leaders, is a reference guide for developing leadership performance on the job.

Anneli has been featured as an expert across multi media publications including Foxtel's Sky News-Business Success program, The Australian - Business Review, Herald Sun, Daily Telegraph, The Advertiser, The Courier Mail, HuffPost, 3AW, and Modern Business Magazine, to name a few.

You can connect with Anneli on LinkedIn, follow her on Twitter @AnneliBlundell or connect via www.anneliblundell.com.